WHO WE USED TO BE Book Review

Who We Used To Be¹ by Julia Amante, eBook, 419 pgs

Synopsis from Goodreads: She built a life that looked perfect. He walked away from it.

For twenty years, Rachel believed in the life she created—a loving marriage, a beautiful home, a family held together by devotion and care. It wasn’t flawless, but it was hers. And she believed it was enough. Until the day Jeremy told her he needed space.

He doesn’t leave for another woman. He leaves because he no longer recognizes himself. At first, Rachel waits. She holds things together. Softens the edges. Makes life work. But as the silence stretches on, something begins to shift. Life begins to move forward without him, slowly, unevenly, but enough for her to see what she couldn’t before. And for the first time, she allows herself to question what they had. Whether it was truly love…or something quieter she had mistaken for it.

And just as she begins to understand her life in a different way…Jeremy comes back. But some choices don’t pause a marriage. They change it.

Now Rachel must return to the life she built or choose the one she’s only just begun to discover. Because love, once taken for granted, doesn’t always return the same. Sometimes the hardest truth to face…is that you can’t go back to who you used to be.

BOOK REVIEW: I am not kidding when I say that I haven't yelled at a character so much in a really long time. Like I think it was The Perfect Marriage back in early 2025 was the last time a character was so out of touch and being a genuine asshat and it just happens to be that in both cases it was the husband! The moment on their 20th freakin wedding anniversary that Jeremy says he wants to take a year apart but not a legal separation to lead to divorce but for them to live separate and do their own thing I was angry. I was getting some flashbacks to my first marriage. I wasn't married for 20 years. I believe we were just shy of our 4 year anniversary but so much that Rachel reflects on with her marriage hit a little too close to home.

We are getting the story told to us by Rachel and Jeremy. Not gonna lie but just about every Jeremy section made me mad. There's so much that I want to share but don't want to give anything away but the overwhelming thing that really just kept the fire stoked was that he would say that he loved Rachel and wanted to be married to her and all the things a husband should say and want except BRO YOU ASKED TO LIVE APART FOR A FREAKIN YEAR!?! How on earth is that loving your wife? Then he has the nerve to get mad when she finally says stop calling and don't come to the house unless you're coming home to stay? I can't go deeper because NO SPOILERS!

This was a 5 star for me. There was a split second that I thought the story was about to take a turn in a direction that I personally didn't want that I told myself if the author goes that way it's gonna be a 3.5...and obviously it didn't. The author did an amazing job. I've never read her work before but this won't be the last. She made me feel all the feelings from all the characters. I was happy, sad, angry, frustrated (in more ways than one), lonely, hopeful, devastated, and that's just to name a few. I want to say thank you to the author for reaching out to me this summer and asking me to read her book. I am so grateful to her. The book was released on 10.10.2026 and is available in paperback and eBook. I definitely recommend this book if you're looking for a woman throwing into a journey of rediscovering who she is, who she wants to be, and who she is meant to be.

5/5 Stars

2026 Reading Challenge: 48/55 complete

¹This is an affiliate link through Bookshop.org which supports independent bookstores nationwide. Pick a bookshop you choose to support and when you order a book, the proceeds go to that store! Books are sent from a main distribution center so if you don't know what store to support, it's okay. All orders not supporting a specific shop go into a pool that gets divided among all the stores listed on the site!