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  • Writer's pictureMyranda

Who Am I?

Multiple times a day I ask myself Who am I? I come up with this quick list but why do I feel like this doesn't really describe who I am? I can't be the only one out there feeling like this right? Mommas...tell me I'm not alone!!! Before I dive a little deeper can we also just take a moment to acknowledge the fact that most of the US population has been home for almost a year now! My last "normal day" at work on 3/13/20 and my last day of work period was 4/10/20. Little did I know that just days after my last day of work, EVERYTHING was shutting down. Crazy right?! I spent the better part of 2020 hoping to regain some sense of what I had labeled as "normal life" and as the year was coming to an end, I was riding that struggle bus hardcore! Reflecting on the last year, it has been one long pity party that I've been throwing for myself regardless of what I was saying and posting on social media. In December, I not only asked myself Who am I? but I kept thinking Something is missing...but what? Insert the lovely Alli (check her out on IG). Alli is a fellow Beachbody coach that I have been following probably around the time that I signed up over 6 years ago. It was because of her postpartum journey that led me to seeking PT for my DR and why I have a doctor appointment next week to discuss seeking a Pelvic Floor me when I say that this will all come out when I have some info! ANYWAY, I was mindlessly watching IG stories when Alli mentioned that she was launching a group in January to Choose Joy and she was opening it up everyone, not just her customers and coaches. Hold up...I have the opportunity to work with Alli even though I'm not on her team?! She gave her little swipe up and I filled out the form, bought the book we were going to read and said I AM IN! What I didn't know until I received my book a couple of days later that this book called Choose Joy by Kay Warren is a devotional book. I mean...clearly it says "Choose Joy Women's Devotional" as the full title but I didn't see that at all! With the book in my hands...this tiny little book...I almost backed out. Let's recap that paragraph real quick. I said yes. I said I'm all in. I got the book. I joined the Facebook group (didn't mention that). Devotion means religious and I am not religious. This isn't the right fit for me after all. I had that thought and then remembered how I felt like something was missing. I trust Alli. I know she has great faith and a relationship with God that deep down I envied. I introduced myself and how this was so far outside of my wheelhouse but I needed to be there. I was called to be there as strongly as Alli was called to create this community for us. I created a morning routine that starts at 5am (but that I have kept going no matter what time I get up). I put in my earbuds and start listening to a sermon from Elevation Church on Spotify while I get ready, make my coffee and breakfast. I head downstairs, log into the quiet Zoom room that has been set up for our community, I read the chapter of the day and checked into the group. As we approached the halfway mark of the group I started to wonder what I was going to do when the group was over. I didn't have to wonder for long. Alli announced that she was going to do another round and that if we wanted to, we could do a Philippians Bible Study with her. She went live in the group a few days later giving her recommendations for Bibles and I bought the one that she got because it was beautiful. Yep...not even a month earlier I almost backed out of a devotional group because I'm not religious but I dropped over $60 on a beautiful Bible that I could call mine! Who am I? While our Philippians study wraps up tomorrow and our second round of Choose Joy wraps on Tuesday, Alli has something else up her sleeve and I already have a few other Bible studies that I want to do on my own. One of which an Easter one that if I start on Sunday (like I plan on doing) will complete on Easter Sunday. I've started watching the live Elevation Church services every Sunday on YouTube. I've been writing in a gratitude journal every day for the last 2 months. If December me saw March me, would I recognize myself? Who am I? While I'm still working this out, and bringing you along for the ride, I am excited about how far I have come and who I have already started to become!

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